Romney Is Not Who You Think He Is

Taking a gander through the internet after Romney’s disastrous 10-days, a consensus seems to be emerging that Romney is a vaguely Monty Burns-type character. Even Jon Stewart satirized him that way.

I humbly disagree. He is, as I have maintained before, Principal Skinner.

The now-infamous 47% comment should be interpreted much like Skinner in the opening scene wherein he accidentally calls women’s intelligence into question in an alarming moment of candor.

The second scene involved a much needed intervention from Superintendent Chalmers screaming at Skinner to get his shit together, while the hordes are demonstrating outside his office. I have not yet figured out if the conservative punditry that has decisively turned on Romney (Brooks, Noonan, et al) are playing the part of Chalmers or the screaming horde outside. Time will tell.

The third scene has yet to play out in this election where, in a do-or-die confrontation before the entire town, Skinner steps out from behind the podium in women’s clothing in a completely misguided attempt to sympathize with those he offended in a spectacular act of self-immolation. I’m guessing, assuming Romney is fully intending to carry out his live-action artistic impersonation of Skinner, his third scene will be in the form of some kind of hail-mary pass where Romney proposes something so outlandish that the resulting fall-out boomerangs back on his candidacy, completely torching it in the process. This will probably happen at one of the debates or in some kind of “major speech that once again reboots Romney.”

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From my same post referenced above:

“…it seems as if Romney is agreeing with who ever happens to be listening at the time on every issue. He’s studied, examined, surveyed, polled and focus-grouped his responses to every audience in every different city.”

I do believe the above is the best explanation for his rather staggering 47% comment. He was telling that particular audience what they wanted to hear. The comments about Romney that strike a chord are those about his in-authenticity, his willingness to tell his audience what they want to hear and his seeming desire to broaden his appeal to Latino voters by appearing “in brownface” on Univision (I’m shitting you not on the last one; see the pic below over three days).

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Speaking as a right-of-centre asshole who comes across private equity MOTUs with regular frequency, my view on the root causes of the problem with Romney start with the fact that he is a right-of-centre asshole with a career in private equity. But that’s a post for another day.

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I can’t wait to see the show.