2015 in Review: Overheard

Like the books post, this also involves more than strictly one calendar year of overhearing things.

A Beautiful Mind
[a Minnesota Wild fan sitting in a bar with his buddy]
You know what I like? Money.

I Call it the Richard Stallman Mantra
[woman in line at Lucky Donuts]
That’s what I keep telling myself: just cause you’re crazy, doesn’t mean your program isn’t good.

The Returns on Laziness are Amazing
[A MOTU-wannabe at All India Sweets]
I’m telling you, my whole investment portfolio is based on this: people’s laziness and people’s ignorance

You Might Say She Was Transported
[two retiree couples discussing an acquaintance while on a train]
I don’t know if it was the elk fornicating that drove her to the Caribbean

Ask your father about schadenfreude
[A mom and a four-year old in conversation]
—That’s just funny
—It’s terrible!
—It’s funny-terrible

Guess which line was by Winnie the Pooh
[graffiti in SFU bathroom]
—Fuck bitches Get money
—Fuck money Eat honey
—Develop skills Invest in your children’s education

I’m Saying this Ironically
[hip-techie types at a Mission coffee bar]
But wouldn’t it be cool if you could scratch into the future?

This story isn’t about her—it’s about her brother’s observation skills
[SFU freshmen gossipping in the cafeteria]
—Why would her brother call her a slut?
—Because she’s a slut

Not the kind of baking I’m taking about, Uncle Dave
[three generations at an ice cream shop]
—I went through a baking phase
—Oh yeah, I did too, it was called college

I bet she actually has an MA in art history concentrating on the surrealists
[Guy explaining “The Persistence of Memory” to a girl at MoMA]
He’s famous for these floppy clocks

This interview is going well
[a group meeting I was passing by in the hallway]
—What’s your background?
—Uh, nothing

Overheard wisdom
[guy walking down the street, to his friends]
You don’t have to be smart to laugh at fart jokes, but you’d be stupid not to.

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One Response to 2015 in Review: Overheard

  1. Mila says:

    Смешно! Даже я поняла почти все.

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