“I haven’t felt that good…

since Archie Gemmill scored against Hollande in…:

Renton (Ewan McGregor) post-orgasm, Trainspotting (1996)

As I sit here working on some writing, I have hockey playing in the background. Its sometimes easy to lose sight of the seeming common miracles in an everyday game. This is particularly the case with the Canucks sexy Swedish twins, Henrik and Daniel Sedin, two identical twin brothers who have played on the same line since the age of 4. We have been so spoiled by their wizardous plays, which suggest a single hive mind at work rather than two separate sentient beings, we sometimes lose sight of just how flabbergastingly impossible their feats of athletic skill can be. See this play from today’s otherwise forgetful loss against Dee-Toit.

I had to watch it three times to figure out the Inception-level of playmaking.

  1. On the first viewing, I didn’t see how this perfect bank was possible given that it seemingly defied the laws of physics. At first it seems like Henrik dumps the puck into the offensive zone, with the puck striking the boards behind the goalie at an angle. According to the laws of physics, the puck should deflect off the boards. Instead, it bounces off the boards in the exact same direction from whence it came. Daniel seems to  benefit from a fortuitous weird bounce and scores a goal. Wait a minute… why was Daniel in that spot? “Rewind the goddamn TV,” I yell to my brother.
  2. On the second viewing, I marvel that Daniel knows exactly where the puck is going. The ordinary mortal would have anticipated where the puck should deflect too according to known laws of thermodynamics, but instead deliberately goes towards the net as if he knows the puck is going to go there. Wait a minute… how the hell could he possibly know the puck was going there? “Rewind the goddamn TV,” I yell to my brother.
  3. On the third viewing, I notice that the puck doesn’t strike the flat portion of the boards behind the goalie. It actually hits the exact part where the boards begin to curve. The puck hits the boards at the perfect angle to deflect back in front of the goalie. The laws of physics have been restored. Henrik wasn’t dumping it in, he was passing it… to his god damn brother who was no where near there when Henrik began the play. As it begins to dawn on me what exactly happened, what the hell… am I slightly stiffening?

Although in the above replay its clear the commentators are remarking on the effortless bank pass, watching hockey live is almost too much to process as this example shows and this is only compounded when the twins are on the ice. If you think the Sedins benefited from some freak play, I can assure you this weird chemistry is on display in most games. The Canucks faithful have a name for this very common Swedish wizardry: Sedinerie.


How do I go back to writing now?

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4 Responses to Sedinerie

  1. zolltan says:

    ah the good old wizardous sedinerie… too bad about the next two periods…

    • Zuuko says:

      Yep. The refs helped out in second period and then the canucks decided to en masse shit the bed in the third.

      Oh well…

      • zolltan says:

        I dunno if you can really pin period two on the refs at all. I mean in a sequence like: call an unjustified penalty on the nucks – blow the whistle unjustifiably early negating Red Wing goal – Wings go on the powerplay and score anyway – you can tell there is some questionable refereeing, but too many counterfactuals to say who it actually benefits. And the Nucks weren’t helping themselves even slightly. Two shots in the second? Ugh.

    • Zuuko says:

      Well the team clearly started their bowel movement in the second i agree before shitting the bed in the third. But lady luck didnt help either

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