The upcoming post is just me whining. Please excuse me and/or skip.
The human experience is so varied and there are so many humans that anyone who says “I thought I was the only one who…” doesn’t mean it literally. But of course there is a golden spot for our personal crotchets and quiddities to occupy for them to be of best service to us. If it’s too common, it can’t function as a bond (oh my God! You like Harry Potter!!?? So do I! And 2 billion other people!). But if we never meet others who share it, we feel like outcast freaks. Well, that’s where the internet helps.
Which is all a roundabout way of introducing the admission that I have
herpes, I mean, a bizarre sexual fetish that involves pinecones, I mean, I am having these weird episodes of craziness that I like to call contentless epiphanies. It goes like this: you feel your mind blown by some staggering realisation you’ve never had before. But you actually haven’t realised anything. And then you realise this. And it seems like this realisation blows your mind, too. Except that it’s an epiphany about a fake epiphany, which doesn’t actually mean anything. Then it goes on, like a Turducken, or Inception or something, only with a hollow in the middle. At its worst, it happens in rapid sequence, several times a minute for minutes at a time. It is completely impossible to think about anything during these episodes, except, at first, the kind of nonchalant “oh, this again, I know this” attitude and after about a minute a “whoa, this is more annoying than I remembered” one. Sometimes you’re tricked into thinking the “whoa, this is more annoying than I remembered” attitude is an epiphany, too. And that gets even more annoying. Sometimes you get to thinking “I wonder what other people have to deal with this bullshit”, and, well, as mentioned, thanks to the magic of oversharing that is the internet, a blog post is born.