I am crazy


The upcoming post is just me whining. Please excuse me and/or skip.

The human experience is so varied and there are so many humans that anyone who says “I thought I was the only one who…” doesn’t mean it literally. But of course there is a golden spot for our personal crotchets and quiddities to occupy for them to be of best service to us. If it’s too common, it can’t function as a bond (oh my God! You like Harry Potter!!?? So do I! And 2 billion other people!). But if we never meet others who share it, we feel like outcast freaks. Well, that’s where the internet helps.

Which is all a roundabout way of introducing the admission that I have herpes, I mean, a bizarre sexual fetish that involves pinecones, I mean, I am having these weird episodes of craziness that I like to call contentless epiphanies. It goes like this: you feel your mind blown by some staggering realisation you’ve never had before. But you actually haven’t realised anything. And then you realise this. And it seems like this realisation blows your mind, too. Except that it’s an epiphany about a fake epiphany, which doesn’t actually mean anything. Then it goes on, like a Turducken, or Inception or something, only with a hollow in the middle. At its worst, it happens in rapid sequence, several times a minute for minutes at a time. It is completely impossible to think about anything during these episodes, except, at first, the kind of nonchalant “oh, this again, I know this” attitude and after about a minute a “whoa, this is more annoying than I remembered” one. Sometimes you’re tricked into thinking the “whoa, this is more annoying than I remembered” attitude is an epiphany, too. And that gets even more annoying. Sometimes you get to thinking “I wonder what other people have to deal with this bullshit”, and, well, as mentioned, thanks to the magic of oversharing that is the internet, a blog post is born.

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5 Responses to I am crazy

  1. Zilka says:

    And people tell me I’M vague?
    The “secret” way around having your epiphanies already be terribly prevalent on the internet is however, not through being so vague as to not have anyone agree with you for lack of understanding what it is you’re actually saying.
    It was a good thought though.
    Though I may have fully misunderstood where you were going.
    Lack of sleep and very un-illustrated blog posts tend to do that.

  2. zolltan says:

    Yeah, sorry, both of you, I wasn’t clear at all in this post. But, though it was poorly/not illustrated, it was garnished with other multimedia, so there. What I mean is not that I have realisations that are stupid or mundane or already made (everyone has this, and only very rarely does anyone have anything otherwise – I dunno if I ever have. I have looked at a sunrise and gone “guess it’ll be a full sun today, eh?” so I of course get very stupid thoughts, too). What I mean is that what I realise during these episodes is LITERALLY nothing. Like, I get the Keanu-Reeves-whoa sensation, and the sense of importance of the moment that usually accompanies getting your mind blown, but I am literally not thinking anything. There isn’t an example of what that epiphany is because there is no content to it at all.

    By the way, I appreciate the commenter’s choice of a z-based name for the purpose of correspondence.

  3. ethnobongo says:

    I’m not sure where Zuuko and Zilka are coming from. I thought I understood clearly what you were trying to say and I laughed out loud through the whole post, likely to the dismay of Zuuko, currently trying to sleep on the couch. Very fascinating to me to see what brilliant minds spend their time thinking about. Thanks for your blog boys.

  4. Pingback: Yuniesky Betancourt | Rated Zed

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