Game 1 starts in 7 minutes. My inner Canucks fan: omg, omg, omg, omg… Are we going to be able to finish this time? We’ve disappointed so many times. NEED TO SCORE.
My inner former Oilers fan: Calm the hell down. This is what happens when virgins finally get the first real glimmer of getting laid.
If Canadian hockey teams were American Pie characters this year, then the Canucks are Jason Biggs, Montreal is Stiffler, Toronto is Jason Biggs’ dad, Calgary and Edmonton are the two other leads no one remembers any more but weren’t virgins in the movie and Ottawa is the third guy in the background on the right side in that one scene.