Will the Hockey Gods smile on Vancouver?

Smile on me. I'm close enough to touch it.Game 1 starts in 7 minutes. My inner Canucks fan: omg, omg, omg, omg… Are we going to be able to finish this time? We’ve disappointed so many times. NEED TO SCORE.

My inner former Oilers fan: Calm the hell down. This is what happens when virgins finally get the first real glimmer of getting laid.

If Canadian hockey teams were American Pie characters this year, then the Canucks are Jason Biggs, Montreal is Stiffler, Toronto is Jason Biggs’ dad, Calgary and Edmonton are the two other leads no one remembers any more but weren’t virgins in the movie and Ottawa is the third guy in the background on the right side in that one scene.

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3 Responses to Will the Hockey Gods smile on Vancouver?

  1. zolltan says:

    Ah, American Pie! Good times! What happened to, like, everyone who was in that? (I just spent like 15 minutes reading about Natasha Lyonne living on the street and threatening to sexually molest dogs now after asking myself that question… I hope you’re happy).

    But, yeah, after today, when Vancouver played like ass, got like three scoring chances total and somehow still managed to win without a problem, I kind of like their chances.

  2. Zuuko says:

    yep. and raffi torres’s hit was legal. it shouldn’t be legal but it is legal under the current rules.

  3. zolltan says:

    Something tells me I’m not gonna have a stellar career as hockey pundit.

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